Sunday, October 14, 2007

Wee Hours of the Morning Freak Out

i'll update later...
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okay now that a little time has gone by I guess I could say my title is a bit exaggerated
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So... I'm sleeping and in a very active dream where I heard my mother's voice (whom has passed and it's still hard...) however, I do not recall seeing her. Additionally, I cannot remember what the dream was about or any of the other people/places in it however...

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What I do remember it that it was fast-paced and a simultaneously sequenced "real life/dream" ~ In the dream I was rushing somewhere ~ In the semi-conscious state real life I was realizing I needed to go to the bathroom ~
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I moved so aggressively when I rolled over and jump out of bed that my movement woke up the hubby! But I think I was maybe moving fast in the dream!? I didn't even sit up I rolled into a standing position with the weight on my left leg and proceeded to take a large fast step with my right to only fall violently to the floor and my hands hit a wooden nightstand table which, was temporarily in an precocious place yet for that moment was in a great location to help me catch myself... both my hands slapped it hard to add to the confused state with the LOUD noise of the slap and my body hitting the floor in a sitting position...yet it kept me from hitting my head. Ultimately it helped me attempt to stand back up to only fall into bed and curl up into a fetal position because my right leg was in pain. I also needed to calm the weirded out hubby so he would go back to sleep, after all it was still the wee hours of the morning. I laid their in a freaked state of mind because it felt like I was in two worlds at the same time with two different agendas. In real life I actually hyper-extended my right leg when I took that large step; I didn't realize it then but I could not feel my right leg and it did not hold my weight but I felt the pain so I chose to ignore the nature call. The ability to be somewhat okay hours later and obtain an idea or comprehension of what a paralyzed person might experience left me scared, grateful, confused, freaked out and if I were to put down all my other emotions and feelings that could make this a really really long post!
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Anyhow, I am still in disbelief of it all and still have tenderness to the back of the right knee.
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strange huh?!

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